A practical guide to confident, constructive and challenging conversations

In this guide, you’ll find:

• Three elements of a useful mindset
• Numerous ways to build your relationships because it’s much easier to have a challenging conversation when our relationships are strong
• Some phrases that could be useful in situations such as challenging incomplete files, where a lot of the information is in the adviser’s head, or when you want to challenge the objectives and recommendations.

Before we go any further, let’s step back and look at what we’re trying to achieve. Generally, when we engage in a difficult conversation, it’s because something needs to change.

For example, you want complete and compliant files and you’re in need of a tweak to the process. Or else you’d like your adviser to increase their range of questions, or perhaps you need to challenge the way the objective has been written.

However, for people to take action – they have to hear what you’re saying. Not just listen, but take it on board. No one likes to hear that they’ve done something wrong. Nobody likes having their buttons pressed. When we’re on the receiving end, we get defensive and shut down, which makes it harder for us to hear what someone is trying to tell us.

Our ability to hear the message rests on how safe we feel. This means it’s up to us, as communicators, to create psychological safety. We hope this guide can help in preparing for these conversations.

Read the Good Practice Guide (PDF)